“Let’s go grab drinks.” It seems like an innocent invitation, but running through my mind are dollar signs. I can’t help but think that a $9 bottle of wine at home fits my budget better than $8 drinks at the bar. Unfortunately, I’m the only “on a budget, no real job” person in the group so we head to a bar.
As my friends have been landing “real” 40-hour-a-week jobs, I’m figuring out what I want to do with my life. I don’t have my dream job because I’m not even sure what that is yet! Seeing my friends pursue and achieve their dreams is a breeding ground for jealousy.
Is it wrong to be jealous of your more successful friends?
Although I’m not working full-time, I do have a part-time job. I saved money from living at home all but one year of college and by working through school. So, while I cannot go out all the time, I can budget in fun. I’m jealous of friends who don’t have to budget and of friends who aren’t making much money but who love their job.
After college, I assumed I’d be working at a satisfying job, but that hasn’t been the case. I have many friends who are in the same boat, waiting tables, bartending, or working full-time at their summer jobs because they haven’t found jobs in their fields yet. I also have friends, mostly those who studied pharmacy and medical fields, who are entering into high-paying jobs and moving all around the country.
“We’re moving to San Diego next summer! We just accepted our job offers at CVS together!” read my friend’s Facebook status. Instead of feeling happy for my friend, all I could think was maybe I should’ve studied pharmacy. My friend and her boyfriend are moving to California to live on the beach while making great money. Even though I have no desire to work in the medical field and I find science to be very boring, I’m living at home with no “real” job. It’s tough not to throw myself a pity party.
So instead of calling my friend to congratulate her, I called my best friend to commiserate. After listening to me rant about how I was never going to find a job and how I knew I should’ve studied biology, she stopped me.
“You would hate that,” she said. “You don’t like science, remember? Once you get a great job, this will seem worth it.”
I wish I had a better paying job with more opportunities to move up, but I know deep down that my friend is probably right. I would hate a medical or pharmacy job. My jealousy is more because I haven’t found my own dream job and my friend has. So I called to congratulate her, I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and I checked LinkedIn one more time.