Splitting the bill is easy – but is it fair?
Last week I went on vacation with two friends, and we agreed that splitting the bill for everything was the best choice for airfare, condo, rental car, food and drinks. Meals out were our individual responsibilities. I put all expenses on my credit card – I volunteered, so I could get the points – and the ladies reimbursed me for all pre-paid costs. Throughout the week, I made grocery purchases and hung on to the receipts to add up and divide once we got home. And now, as I go over the receipts, I wonder:
Is it really fair to “split the bill”?
As I tallied up the receipts, I realized that depending on how you looked at the items purchased, sharing costs evenly could actually feel uneven. Here’s what I mean.
There are three of us, we’ll call us Lady 1, 2 and 3.
Total bill for groceries: $205.57
Total alcohol: $61.31
Total meat: $36.02
Total veggie burgers: $5.09
Total desserts: $35.03
I separated out the costs into categories for a reason.
Lady 1 doesn’t drink alcohol.
Lady 2 is a vegetarian and doesn’t eat sweets.
Lady 1 is paying over $20 for liquor she isn’t drinking.
Lady 2 is paying $12 for meat and $11.68 for dessert she isn’t eating, plus $5.09 for veggie burgers, equaling $28.77 extra.
Is it fair to split the cost for items you aren’t enjoying?
You could say Lady 1 and Lady 2 are pretty much a wash, with only $8 between them. But it could have easily been a much larger gap.
You could also say that Lady 3 is at a $48.77 advantage because she is consuming everything she is paying for.
What is the best way to share costs for travel?
Would it make sense for everyone to purchase groceries separately, knowing that some food would be wasted since it isn’t shared?
Or is paying a little extra a consequence of splitting the bill?
While we’re at it, here are some other ways to save money on road trips or travel.
Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
How about this issue. My son studied abroad last term. He and his roommate were to split the grocery bill, with my son doing the bulk of the cooking , because he is a good cook, and his roomie doing the bulk if the cleaning. Roomie did an atrocious job of cleaning so son had to re-do it frequently. Should roomie have picked up extra grocery costs?
Unfortunately, they will be rooming together back in the States (this was set up before they went overseas). Any thoughts on how to deal with this? Oh, and not “sharing” groceries is not feasible… When my son went to Rome for the weekend, roomie consumed all of the food in the apartment that didn’t require cooking.
Sarah, that’s a tricky one! I would say that as long as the roomie IS cleaning, there isn’t much your son can do. I’ve learned that with partners. If I ask my partner to load the dishwasher and he does, I can’t complain when he doesn’t do it the way that I would like, right?!
Maybe a compromise with a fine? They split groceries, but cook and clean for themselves? Or make a calendar of who cleans and who cooks each week? And if roomie doesn’t do his share, he gets fined $5 (or whatever). All of that money goes toward groceries!
Thanks for that idea…. It’s just hard as a parent to step back and let him fight the battles. Roomie is really overly critical (which is so ironic because he WON’T cook) — the two of them and a friend went on vacation to Sicily and the girl was thoughtful enough to cook for them at the hostel. He had the gall to critique her cooking, saying there wasn’t enough salt on the chicken (dude, if it’s a problem, pick up a salt shaker, right?).
And of course there is the time element with studying….
@Sarah This is a difficult situation, and hard to stay quiet on the sidelines! Getting along with another person is challenging enough, on top of differences of taste, standards of cleanliness, etc. Perhaps your son could make a few suggestions next time his roomie criticizes his food. “Okay, next time you cook so you can make it the way you like. I’ll clean up after you.” If they stick to working together, it’s a good idea for the two of them to go over what “doing the dishes means.”
But I think perhaps the way to resolve this is to disengage. Roomie is not going to change his ways, and your son is going to get very frustrated trying. Even if they live together, they don’t have to cook together. Your son can do his own grocery shopping. Perhaps they can have separate shelves for food – in the fridge and in the cupboard. Let roomie go hungry and eat cereal for dinner a few nights. He might change his tune once he can appreciate a hot meal.
Very difficult. Obviously, person who doesn’t drink should not have to pay for alcohol. That’s a given. I also would have each person pay for their own flight on their own card, one less thing less to divide up. I don’t eat meat, I would be the one with the veggie burger. I do like wine, but not dessert. This is a potential nightmare. Thankfully I have not had to go through this sort of cost splitting for a long time. Maybe you pay for your own personal grocery preferences and share the items everyone likes.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that finds this complicated, @Diana!
This kind of obsessing over who had the more expensive what and how to divide everything down to the penny so no one pays anything towards anyone else’s bill is why wait staff universally hate waiting on groups of women. Stop and listen to yourself. There was a difference of $8 dollars over a weekend. Is is worth messing up friendships by tallying up exactly who ate how much of what so that no one pays more than what they personally consumed? If the people in question are so hard up for money that the $8 will make a huge difference in someone’s ability to go then maybe to be fiscally responsible they should not be going at all. Men don’t do this. They divide everything up equally and over the long run it usually works out about equal and if someone is taking advantage of the situation then they say something to that person. If in the future the cost of something that only some members of the group order or use becomes an issue then have everyone run their own bar tab or buy their own special groceries and just split supplies but don’t create an issue where there isn’t one. Friendships are worth more than the $8 and if they aren’t then someone needs new friends.
@Jennifer I wouldn’t say Megan obsessed over the differences in the bill. She seems concerned because she wants to be fair to good friends. We’ve all been in a position where we have to decide whether to split a bill evenly or parse it up. It’s an oversimplification to say women always obsess over the bill and men never do. In some situations, it’s appropriate to split it evenly. In others, it is not.
In Megan’s situation, I’d say splitting it evenly is fair, despite the differences in consumption, because the friends agreed to split everything ahead of time. Hopefully Lady 1, 2, or 3 will feel comfortable bringing up the differences if they would like to change the arrangement.
Agreed, @Bargain Babe! I didn’t mention the $8 because it isn’t a deal breaker TO ME. But it’s hard to speak for someone else. And since I was the one footing the bill, I had to make that decision. Never was our friendship in question, nor does the fact that we are females play into my feelings. I simply had a unique perspective of the bills, because I was seeing the receipts. I’m confident if my friends had a strong opinion either way, they would have spoken up.
This is gender discrimination!!!How could you have stereotypes like this!!!
I think that particulars, such as someone not drinking alcohol or eating dessert should be taken into account. I disagree with splitting the whole bill because someone will always be at a disadvantage. When I get appetizers with friends, we split it in half only if we both ate it. As someone whose had it happen, having to pay for someone else’s drinks when you don’t drink at all isn’t fair. Maybe just split it by who consumes what when all is said and done? Lady 1 shouldn’t have to cover alcohol and only the meat eaters and dessert eaters should split the bill.
That seems fair, @Rebecca. I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, too, and there have been instances where I’ve paid “too much” and others when I’ve paid “too little”. It happens. Thanks for your input!
When we travel, we create a kitty. Everyone puts in say $75 each a day and this money is used for everything. Meals, Admission, hotel tips, etc. We evaluate the kitty daily and will adjust the daily $ amount as needed. We don’t worry about minor differences. On a recent trip to New Orleans my Diet Coke cost $7.50, cheaper than the beers my companions were drinking. We are still laughing about it, and isn’t that the point of traveling together to have a good time and not sweat the small stuff?
I think you should just let a machine do the work for you 🙂
http://www.scrooge.cc/
Thats what I and my friends use.
Woah! Interesting! Thanks for the share.