Fyre Fly Weddings
This is a guest post by Carmen Sechrist of Life Blessons, a personal blog with a religious and frugal bent.
From the day I got engaged until I walked down the aisle last July was 10 weeks–two and a half months. We had little time and an even littler budget – less than $5,000, a quarter of the national average – for the whole dress-rings-flowers-food-honeymoon she-bang. At the end of those 10 weeks I had the wedding of my dreams: an outdoor affair brimming with beautiful wildflowers, a long strapless gown, all my loved ones together and a weeklong honeymoon in the woods.
Limited guest list
This one you’ll read on every wedding website. If you want to save money, cut your guestlist. The site that we found had a capacity of 150, so that became our guest list. We only invited family and our best friends. As we started adding other church friends or coworkers, the size swelled out of control. Rather than pick and choose, I sent an email to friends that I had to cut to explain the situation and let them know how much their friendship means to me. People (particularly those who had been married before) really seemed to understand.
A hidden benefit in limiting the guest list was eliminating the need to impress. That was something I worried about in the beginning – what would so-and-so think about this? – but when we cut the list to those who we knew were there for us and for no other reason, that was no longer a concern.
Let people help you
People will ask if there’s anything they can do to help. Do not feel bad about taking their offers. One of my friends asked if she could help and because I was living out of town at the moment, I asked her if she’d be willing to research places to get my hair done. A week later, she had prices for me at places her friends had gone. One of the places frequently runs deals through local radio stations to buy a $50 gift certificate for half off. She suggested I buy up a couple of those, and I did, so I ended up getting my hair done for half-price. Team work really does pay off!
We pulled favors from a variety of friends and relatives. An uncle offered us his summer condo in the Smoky Mountains. A friend who was starting his photography business offered us reduced rates and another friend who was graduating from baking school helped with our cake. My sister crafted an adorable cake topper. More than saving us money, these were gestures of love.
Make a decision and move on
I’m not much of a decision-maker. I like to deliberate and weigh my options before moving ahead. In my wedding planning, I had to learn to break free of this desire to entertain every available option and instead decide if an option fell in the “good enough” pile and go with my gut. I realized my wedding was only a memory and I made peace with every off-the-cuff decision instead of worrying.
There’s all this pressure to find “perfection” and believe that only “new” things will do, but that’s not true. I read a story online about a woman who was days away from her wedding and she still hadn’t found “the perfect pair” of shoes. She realized every time she put her dress on she wore the same pair of heels from her closet. The heels looked good with this dress. Why keep looking? For her, it was a revelation that she could wear something she already owned.
I tried as much as possible to use items in my house. Picture frames I already had to decorate the mantel of the stone room, an old picnic basket from the basement to hold favors, a favorite bedspread to throw over the cake table. Because my wedding décor leaned toward a shabby-chic garden incarnation, this hodge-podge approach worked perfectly for us and no one noticed. The best part is that not only did it save me money but it also saved me time, as I was not wandering the aisles of shopping center upon shopping center searching for the elusive “it” item.
Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
When I was a teacher, I was invited by quite a few friends to help with their wedding plans. We worked as a group to assemble table favors and decorations, often made by the more artsy-craftsy members of the group. I often hand printed place cards for the reception, as well as reply cards for the invitations. Supplies from Michaels (using good discount coupons), as well as certain things from Big Lots, helped to keep the budget under control. One gal even used “The Colonel” to “cater” part of her reception buffet. The list of possibilities is almost endless, and creates memories for you and your friends.
Um, how about saving even more money – and a whole hell of a lot of misery – by NOT getting married in the first place! No one needs marriage anymore.
Refusing to get married is the smart and the modern thing to do.
Getting married is utterly pointless, and will only cause untold amounts of stress and suffering for everyone involved.
Of course, seeing as the person who wrote this is obviously one of those obsessive religious types, then I suppose marriage is necessary for her, otherwise she believes she’ll burn in hell for all eternity. LOL!
Wow. Somebody took a cranky pill. Divorced, perhaps? Or just never able to hook a guy? Perhaps its time to look at other options…lesbianism?
It always shocks me that the most liberal people are the least tolerant to others’ views. It seems very oxy-moronic. Can’t we ever just live and let live?
Lovely wedding Life Blessons! Great ideas! I think brides need to keep in mind that it is only 1 day! At the end of the day, you’re still married whether you spend $50,000 or $5,000. Good memories don’t cost a penny! Marriage has brought me nothing but joy and happiness. I highly recommend marriage to everyone. Its an exciting journey! And doing it for $5,000–even better!
Carmen,
Love the wedding tips! Cleary, Chrystal (above) hasn’t met the man of her dreams and is seriously bitter. Congrats to you and your man for staying under the budget while pulling together a fabulous shin dig. 🙂
I got married 20 years ago. I used many of these same tips. As a gift, my friend’s mother made my wedding cake. The place I got married had a champagne brunch so I was able to bargain that into the price. I spent money on the things that were important to me. It was a small wedding with just family and real friends. Many of my friends talk about how fun our wedding was.
Wow, Crystal, judgmental much? Sorry your marriage didn’t work out or your boyfriend never committed – whichever it is, he certainly dodged a bullet there!
Carmen, your wedding sounded lovely, and congrats to you for pulling it off without a mountain of debt. Best of luck to you both in the future.
Apparently poor Chrystal got up on the wrong side of life! Interesting how some people really enjoy throwing cold water on the joy of others. I have friends who live together happily, both with and without the bonds of marriage, and just always figured that what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for all. To each his/her own, and may all live happily ever after! Now if someone could just help unhappy Chrystal get a life!
You blog and article are lovely and don’t come across at all as a “religious fanatic” as Crystal describes it. I like your information, but would love it if you went a step futher and explained how you found an affordable venue, catering, etc. My husband and I got married two years ago, but didn’t have any kind of reception. At that time, we felt it was unnecessary. But now, we want all of our friends and family to celebrate with us in our happiness and joy of being in a happy marriage
I always suggest to my brides to just let us handle the work, that’s what we are getting paid.