The unwanted bills our neighbors gave us.
Our neighbors gave us $40 after we powered their refrigerator with our generator during Hurricane Irene. No matter what we did, they would not take it back, saying replacing all their groceries would have cost a lot more.
The $40 they gave us is not a lot of money (in the grand scheme of things) but I feel a little…dirty about the whole thing.
Our neighborhood was without power for 27 hours From Sunday to Monday and we ran our generator for about five of those hours, powering both our fridge and our neighbor’s. Not even that long! We offered them a power chord because our generator is powerful enough to handle a second fridge, and because our generator is so fricking loud we thought sharing the electricity would soften the din.
We never expected to be paid and don’t want their money. The satisfaction of being a good neighbor and helping them out was payment
enough. The lady who lives next door is in her 80s and we thought she would really appreciate having air conditioning, ice, and cold food. Her daughter is always very friendly and thoughtful.
Now what do we do with the money? I’m trying to think of someway to spend it on them or pay it forward. Should we slip the cash into a thank you card? Buy them flowers? Do nothing at all?
When someone gives you cash or a gift of thanks that you really don’t want, what do you do?
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Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
You may want to think of this as her resolving the debt she feels she owes you. It may appease her conscience, and actually taking it will be the best thing for you both!
If you’re very bothered by it, then donate it your favorite charity or something that might be meaningful to them. I don’t think you should spend it on the neighbors, it will start a cycle of “thank you”, “no, THANK YOU,” etc. that will go nowhere. They obviously were grateful and it was the only way they could think to thank you, so take it and make a donation to a meaningful charity–I don’t even think you ought to tell them, just let the good deed stand.
how about donating it to a charity under their name?
Pay it forward. Next time you eat out, pick a table and have the waitperson bring their bill to you. Or give a gc for groceries or gas to someone.
Honestly i wld accept it graciously and make her happy. If you want to use the $ for a pay it forward or help someone else using the $ i think that wld be gret. My mom wld often try to give me $ for things/actions and after many years of practically arguing abt the $ i learned, finally, realized that it made her happy to give it to me. Now i deny it once but after that accept graciously and take her feelings into consideration over my own. Now if i knew the older woman could not really afford the $40 then i might ask the daughter to slip it back to her without her mom’s knowledge. Lol
Aren’t you lucky. You just experienced an opportunity to build community. You did something nice for your neighbor and they wanted to do something nice back to you, so they gave you money. Now what you do with that money is that you buy some ingredients and make something to share with them – soup or muffins or stew or whatever. You make a big batch of it and then take some over to them. Say, “Oh, I took that extra money and bought the ingredients for this special treat and I want to share it with you.”
I am so lucky to be surrounded by neighbors who are kind and sharing. But, I know that this is something that gets created over time by doing nice things for each other.
Enjoy!
Why not use it to have a “We survived Irene” cookout for all your neighbors. Since you are newer to the area it might be a good way to get to know the other neighbors and promote community.
I too believe that if giving money to somebody because they did you a favor, then by all means take it and do what you want with it..It was her pleasure to give you the money, you were doing her a favor she felt could not be repaid in any other form. You saved her alot more than 40 dollars worth of food in the fridge!!! You could give it to a charity, or a donation to an organization that she favors.
This is a generational thing. To try to slip her the money back would be really offensive to her! Getting her a gift would also be difficult (especially flowers — older people have more problems with things like flowers, soaps, perfumes, candles). Just express your gratitude and let it drop.
I would accept it graciously. If you want to “pay her back” invite her over for supper and buy all the food.
If they won’t take it back, why not donate it to the Red Cross disaster response fund in their names? As a Katrina survivor, I know the Red Cross was an excellent resourse for us homeless folks!
Accept the money graciously. Your neighbor is in her 80s so she probably would have a harder time getting out and buying a thank you gift. You can invite the neighbor to share a meal with your family.
Since the money was for preserving her food, if you donate you may want to donate the money or food equivalent to a food bank.
It was right of you to try to give the money back, but since they insisted you keep it…you should keep it. I don’t even think you should pay it forward or donate it. That’s not what the neighbor gave you the money for. It was for you to help defray your costs. You might need to help them again in the future and you will have the money on hand to do it.
I think the “I survived Irene” ideas was great. Also, you could donate to your local food shelter, paying it forward.
I’m so impressed with all these suggestions! I think I’m going to make a batch of zucchini bread (getting tons each week from our CSA) and give them a loaf as thanks.
Plant some beautiful flowers or a shrub that your neighbor will also enjoy, or use it as seed money for next years vegtable garden and make sure you take some of the vegetables over to them too.
You shouldn’t feel bad though, my grandma was always like that, whenever I drove her somewhere. She’d want to give me twenty dollars no matter if it was up the block to the bank.
If I didn’t take it she would chase me around out in public and stick it in my pocket, and that’s all I needed was her having a heart attack chasing me around. Just accept that she may need to pay you back, and in accepting that, you may be doing another favor for her.
There are often times when we do something for a neighbor for purely altruistic reasons, and don’t expect anything in return. However, our actions sometimes put the recipient in a spot where they feel obligated to return, if not in kind, at least with $$$. I do feel strongly that it’s best to simply tell that person that the $$$ is not necessary, but it is appreciated. Just a simple “thank you” can go a long way. Making and sharing zucchini bread is a good way to assuage your feelings of guilt for accepting the $$$, but you shouldn’t feel guilty. Whatever you choose to do ~ donate in your neighbor’s name to a food bank or simply gift her with something homemade ~ is acceptable. I have a neighbor who sometimes brings me homemade jams or bread as a thank you for something I did, and I always enjoy the goodies and appreciate the gesture. You really did get a lot of good ideas from your readers.
What a wonderful neighbor and you are very fortunate to have a neighbor like that. Baking the bread sounds like a good idea and sharing with her or even a pot of soup on a cold winter day. Or, maybe take her out to lunch one day. Whatever you decide to do, just remember you have been blessed to know this kind person who sounds like a very special individual. In this world of fast living and selfish people who could care less about their next door neighbor, count your blessings that you know someone who has a beautiful heart.
You might keep some of your favorite charities in mind so that next time someone tries to give you money and won’t take no for an answer, you can just ask them to donate the money to “X” charity in your name instead.
My boyfriend did this last year after reuniting a lost dog with her owner on Christmas Eve. The owner was so thankful, especially because the dog was a senior and was both deaf and blind, that he wanted to give my BF money, which he didn’t want to accept because he’s an animal lover and didn’t do it for a reward. The guy insisted he take it, so he asked him to donate the money to an animal shelter on his behalf instead. He got an email the next day about the donation made in his name, and everyone was happy 🙂
Use it to start Baby’s college fund?
Give it to charity? (Heifer International gets my vote.)
Send it to the food bank? (You’d be amazed how far that would go.)
Hand out $5 bills to the next eight panhandlers you meet?
Buy $40 worth of ground coffee (using coupons and sales, of course) and drop it off at the homeless shelter?
Have fun choosing.
Don’t feel bad! Some folks really want to force the issue of gratitude- if you slipped it back to her, it would probably offend her.
Why not use that money to buy certain groceries and take her something special you made? Like part of that $40 can go to buy apples and a pie crust and voila- homemade apple pie for your sweet neighbor!
I would accept it as a blessing. Then share some of the monies with a local charity of your choice.