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While grabbing dinner with friends, we began to talk about relationships and money. My six friends and I, all in our mid-20s, agreed it was important to be on the same page when it comes to money before getting married or moving in together, but on the subject of joint bank accounts, we were divided.
Half said they wanted a joint bank account, while the other half wanted to maintain separate accounts. I prefer a combination because I want to be in control. But that was not my only reasoning.
Divorce rates are high. Nearly 50% of all marriages end up in splitsville. And it’s no secret that money is one of the most common problems and causes of stress for couples.
Separate accounts would allow me to build up my savings in case I had to pack my things and start all over again. Of course, living in a communal state like California means everything we owned as a couple would be split 50/50. So the savings would be divided, but give me access to cash in the short term.
I also like the feeling of being financially independent. Having separate accounts would allow us to use our money as we wished. We could also buy gifts for each other without the other knowing as they would not be privy to the statement. We would use a joint account to pay joint bills and have a joint savings account to save up for a house and vacations. We would both contribute equally to the joint accounts.
I do not think one approach is better, as long as you avoid banking fees and the arrangement works for both individuals.
What do you think, should couples have joint or separate banking accounts?
Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
Joint! I would have never had it any other way. In fact having it separate was never even an option. My now husband had debt and we worked together to clean it up and now we work together towards our joint financial goals. I don’t separate accounts encourages that. there is still an element of distrust.
Mercedes
As a Christian, I believe there should not be anything separate between a husband and wife. The problem with starting a marriage with “if we split” is that you are giving that as an option up front. If you go into a marriage with the attitude that there will be no divorce, than this is not even a question in your mind. And having joint accounts is a no brainer. When there are separate accounts, there is no accountability. There are other ways to have money to “play” with, so to speak – as well as buy gifts. Each person can have an allowance from the joint account and use it that way. When money is a division and someone needs “independance” then that is an area of concern. Marriage should be a dependance, not an independance. After all, isn’t that why it is called “joined” in matrimony. 🙂
JOINT!!!
If you are really working together on your home, your budget and your life money has to be a part of that.
If you each want a small amount of “My money” then allocate that out of your budget, but all paycheques should be put in the joint account, and all expenses paid out of it. Otherwise there ends up being resentment if someone makes more money or has more debt coming in to the relationship.
Actually, you can have both. The joint account is for all the common bills and set-asides. The separate account is for personal spending money. This actually works well if one of the people tends to overspend. They will quickly run out of money and not use the money meant for other things.
Just one other thing. When two people are married and have no children, it is much easier to have separate accounts. The fact is that until you have kids, it’s kind of like a really happy roommate situation. When you have kids, you just start spending and spending and spending on the kids. They aren’t bringing in money. If you don’t have a budget in place and if you are not in agreement on what is going to happen with the money, it can get bad. Separate accounts would almost be like how the finances must be when you have divorced parents who split payments on everything having to do with the kids. WAY too complicated.
Joint! Where there are separate accounts there is more room for “oh, he’ll never find out if I spend this much, or that much, it’s a level of secrecy that makes me uncomfortable. Unless you have separate accounts and show each other what you have in there I would not be for separate accounts at all. Have always had joint accounts with both husbands and money was never an issue – you can still be “independent” even with a joint account – everything is split down the middle if something happens anyway!
When my ex and I married we were young and had nothing and everything was put into joint accounts.
When people come into marriages with existing kids and assets it may be better to have his/hers/ours accounts in order to protect the assets. Individual assets managed with joint funds can become joint property and the original owner can lose out in the case of divorce.
A reason for totally separate accounts is if one spouse has bad credit and the other does not. You don’t want the poor credit rating to hurt that of the better credited spouse. When the credit rating and issues which lead to the bad rating are cleared up, then you can go joint.
My husband and I both have access to each other’s accounts, however, we both maintain our own account. He has his checking account at one bank while I have mine at another. Its the best of both worlds. We do share a savings account at his bank. This is just what works for us. 🙂
My experience touches on those of several other people who commented. In marriage #1, all money was joint and there were no problems. In marriage #2, we have his, mine, and ours–also with no problems. With #2, however, he had young kids when we married, and there was child support, etc. However, to this day, our three accounts work well for us. We are co-tenants on all the accounts. There obviously is no one right way for everybody. The partners in a relationship must figure out what works best for them and them alone.
The most important thing is to have strong communication about your financial situation, which will vary from couple to couple, and whether or not there’s been a previous relationship with kids. One or the other may be bringing debt into the marriage, and/or have other financial commitments which must be met on a regular basis. Over the years, my husband and I sometimes had a joint account, and sometimes individual; ditto with savings. It all depended on our changing needs and situations with jobs, etc. Communication throughout is essential.
I had a joint account with my ex when we were living together. That worked out fine overall but when we split (amicably), I later discovered that he had a line of credit attached to that account. He always made his payments but not always on time as he was an independent contractor and did not always get paid in time to make the due dates. Since he had the account before we were together and we had only added my name, I discovered to my dismay that I could not be removed from the account without the account being closed which he did not want to do. It took a couple f years but once it was paid off, I was finally able to break free and have my name removed. But in the meantime all his credit history from that account went toward my credit report as well. It’s been many years since that and all that has long since dropped off my report but I do know better now for the future!
Hubbz and I have a combination like you suggested: a joint account and our personal checking accounts that are separate. We use the joint account for bills and our personal accounts for our personal bills (any credit card payments, cars, personal splurges). It’s working for us.