I spend my money differently than Hubby. Where I like to buy clothes and drinks with friends, he prefers electronics and computer hardware. You spent HOW much on a gizmo that backs up our computer drives? Oh my!
We spend differently and we don’t always spend the same amount of money, which is where it gets tricky. So how does a couple reconcile spending habits?
My friend is currently wrestling with this challenge. She is making changes in her life to spend less, but her spouse has developed hard-to-break spendy habits. He enjoys buying a morning muffin and coffee – and he’s known to return for a cookie and more coffee in the afternoon. Problem is his habit adds up to $200 a month, or $2,400 a year. Then there are the parking tickets because he forgets to put money in the meter. And so on.
So she showed him the money. She added up his spendy habits by month, multiplied by 12, and showed him the awful annual truth. He was piddling away their children’s education, their family home, and their retirement on Starbucks and fines.
He countered that he wants to enjoy his life, a legitimate feeling. If he wanted to live like a monk he’d join a monastery!
My solution is to find ways to enjoy each day without risking your financial future. In other words, compromise.
Not very sexy. But very savvy.
Instead of cutting out splurges entirely, reduce. Focus on making slow and steady progress – say 10-15 percent less spending per month – so that you can adjust your lifestyle in ways that will stick. Drink coffee instead of a latte. Forego the muffin. And always put one extra quarter into the meter.
Talk about your financial goals and keep them front and center. Latte now? Or private school later? Hmmmm…
You might also consider going back to basics and have a serious money talk with your partner/spouse. Free From Broke lists 10 important things to discuss.
Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
It can be tough changing your habits. Sometimes you have to start small with one or two items and work from there.
Or you find ways to adjust your budget to keep those things that are important to you. Maybe cutting back on cable can make it easier to get that morning coffee and muffin?
Either way you have to be open with your spouse and see what you can do to work together.
That starbucks habit thing gets picked apart in this post:
http://badmoneyadvice.com/2009/01/lightbulbs-and-lattes.html
But starbucks is expensive. I doubt most latte drinkers would notice the switch to old fashioned brewed coffee.
It’s a tough challenge to pare back, especially when you don’t “feel” like you spend much. Once you track it you’ll see that you do. And then you can find stuff to slash that doesn’t provide enough fun for the buck.
You may even find justification for a favorite splurge. (like giving my coworkers $20 every few weeks at the poker game).
Just keep on chugging along and enjoy the journey.
Ps. $401 for the backup box, a total deal. My big tech purchase for the year. And a legitimate business expense, to boot.
I just got a 1TB SATA HD and an external enclosure w/ USB & Firewire at Frys. Backing up the home desktop & laptops is now sweet. Was seriously contemplating a D-link Network Access Storage enclosure w/ two drive bays so I could implement RAID, but I talked myself out of it; maybe next year.
The way my wife & I handle our own personal spending is that all of our money first goes into our joint checking & savings accounts on payday, and then we each get an “allowance” that we can use on our own stuff. We calculated the allowance based on how much we had left over after our joint expenses: mortgage, utilities, groceries, kids’ clothes & activities, etc. So now I can go golfing or buy cigars with my “own” money or my wife can go have a drink with one of her girlfriends without either of us feeling guilty that we’re spending money that should go towards the family. It takes planning, though (luckily my wife’s an accountant). You should go through all of your joint expenses for the past year to see how much of an individual allowance you can afford — a good way to start a family budget.
As I mentioned in another topic’s post, in this second marriage of 30+ years, we each have an individual checking account as well as our joint account. It works well for us.