A reader named Rachelle wrote me with this plea for help:
My birthday is coming up and we’re looking for ways to cut back. My girlfriend said for her birthday, her husband used a coupon and bought her a pair of scissors she wanted from Michael’s for $15 and she was THRILLED. That was her only gift. I would NOT be thrilled. I would be depressed beyond belief. I don’t need lavish gifts but I DO want to feel special. A nice dinner is not going to cut it. Any suggestions for our MEN out there on how to make us feel loved and special (birthday or not) without spending a ton of $$$? This is not the year for fancy jewelry (I would be mad) but if my husband just bought me a pair of scissors, I think I would cry.
So what’s in between a pair of scissors and a schmancy bauble? Hmmm…I dialed The Gift Therapist, aka Jennifer Melnick Carota, for answers.
- Silver jewelry. “You can get really great bracelet or ring at TJ Maxx and it doesn’t necessarily have to be diamonds and gold,” Jennifer said. She has picked up many nice pieces for under $20 by checking the clearance section first.
- Loveopoly. This is a romantic, personalized game of Monopoly with four pricing options. You can buy a deluxe set for $75 or a game board personalized with your memories for $20. Two other options are $40 and $60.
- A note a day or week. Fill a jar with notes about the person, your memories together, and what you love about them. This costs almost nothing if you do it yourself or Kindnotes.com has custom options starting at about $26. “This makes a very cute and sentimental gift,” Jennifer said.
- Picture frame collage. Buy a frame with 4-20 slots and create a timeline of your relationship or a special event by filling each slot with a favorite song, quote, trinket or picture. Look for frames under $10 at Wal-Mart or TJ Maxx, Jennifer said.
- Indie movie of the month. Build in a monthly date night with a subscription to Filmmovement.com, which mails you DVDs of great films that don’t hit the big screen. You can pick what genre you prefer to receive. A three-month subscription is $27, six-months is $51 and a year is $100.
- Burn a romantic CD. Put all the songs that are important to you and your gal. Or design it to compliment a dinner you are cooking for her.
Still looking? Jennifer suggests thinking about what experience you want your recipient to have and build a gift around that.
Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price.
Wow, how about the GIFT of appreciating what you have? Be happy to receive a gift, be happy that you are in the position to go out for a nice dinner! Step out of the ME box…
I personally would not be thrilled with scissors, but I might like a gardening tool! I had a girlfriend whose husband gave her a vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s Day and she was very happy with it! Having someone who loves you to share your birthday with is the most important part. The gift is just the icing on the cake!
Maybe some lessons on being gracious and thankful that she has a husband who loves her and wants to give her a gift would be appropriate for your writer. If she communicates with her husband, maybe they can get or do something that would make both of them happy and save money at the same time.
Thank you Julia for including my advice on the topic of affordable gift giving. As the “therapist” I would like to recommend a link to a wonderful resource that explains “The Five Love Languages”…this will shed light on why one person can be completely thrilled with a pair of scissors, while another would be repulsed. By identifying the love languages of those closest to you, you will become much more thoughtful and successful in your gift giving. Sometimes we tend to give what we would like to receive, rather than what the recipient may want or really value. Dr Chapman explains this here: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html I hope you enjoy, learn and share it!
I DO appreciate my husband and my family and what I have, but turning another year older is kind of depressing and I just want to feel special. All we do is scrimp and save! It would be nice to feel special on my birthday, to be appreciated, without spending a lot money. As a mom, I feel like all I do is take care of others, I hope it’s okay to think of “me” on my birthday.
My husband bought me a chef’s knife one year for my birthday. Needless to say, I didn’t think it was very exciting, but I told him how lovely it was. A few years on, while jewelry lies in boxes in the drawer, the kitchen knife gets used everyday. It turned out to be the best present I have received from him.
I’d use the entertainment book for 2 for 1 dinner and would use the “clipper” magazine coupons for a $50 facial or $15 manicure/pedicure from local spas. Also check out Costco–you can save 20% on gift cards for spas as well as Starbucks. I would never spend the $ myself on those things and really appreciate it when my husband gets me gift certificates for those!
Thanks, Janet!
I’ve learned that it’s not so much as how much was spent as to what was the effort put forth in selecting the gift. It’s too easy to just put some money in an envelope. Although, if the person is in need of money it would be much more appreciated than another “thing” to be dusted.
How about going to the Dollar Tree, 99 Cent Store and/or Michaels and stocking up on all of the various body butters and bath items!?! I did this for Christmas for my co-workers and they were all amazed that I was able to get a nice body butter from Michael’s for $1. It wasn’t so much the cost as it was that I thought of them PERSONALLY.
Rachelle,
Just wondering if you have spoken to your husband about this yet? What is his opinion of the situation?
Be thankful for what you have. There are many people who only wish they had a job/money to buy a pair of scissors, money for food for their family, etc. Count your many blessings and be happy.
I agree with the jewelry at TJ Maxx – I love the unusual pieces and the prices are great. You just have to go when it’s not busy – it is annoying waiting for the one sales clerk to help you when there are already 6 people waiting ahead of you.
Dark chocolate and flowers do it for me.
Hi, I am a creative person and love to refinish furniture, do crafts, paint, you name it! So
in the spirit of creation I would love to get a
pair of scissors! One year my boyfriend bought
me a Craftsman electric saw and I was thrilled..
So each to his own. Even if someone gave me
some wall paint from any place such as Home
Depot. Now that can be expensive but you
can get Mismatched paint that was custom mixed
( but the customer rejected) sometimes for $1-$3!
I use these paints in creative ways to paint or stain
furniture I am refinishing.
Some women wouldn’t appreciate such things but
I felt very special when he gave me things that
had to do with my passions.
Communication is really at the core of this issue and the more effectively we do it the better the results, right? I know it’s hard to ask for what we really want sometimes, but if we don’t at least plant some subtle seeds, we are bound to be dissapointed by some guys (not all!) who may be a little challenged in finding the right gift just for you 🙂
cook me a dinner and give me a massage and im content… heck having my husband home instead of in a war zone would have been nice- i would have traded all my presents for that gift. please just be thankful you are celebrating another year with your loved ones and they are safe… that is the most important thing in life right?
Well said, Shasta.
I received a Giant African Millipede for my 40th birthday and was THRILLED. That was something I had wanted for a while and was excited to get. I am pretty sure that is something that most women would not want. My point is that gifts are usually specific to the person who is receiving them Perhaps Rachelles friend is a seamstress or avid scrapbooker and the scissors were something she wanted. I have learned over the years to be very direct in giving my husband economical gift ideas. He does not think of these on his own, and he certainly wouldnt have thought of a millipede(only $15 at the time, dont think you can buy them anymore though). Rachelle, I dont know what your budget is, but maybe it would be fun to have a picnic at the beach, or a hike to a waterfall, or a scavenger hunt to all of the places that mean something to you and your husband. Just be sure to give your husband some ideas that relate to your hobbies or passions, that way he isnt just guessing and hoping it will be something you would like.
So “turning another year older is kind of depressing”? While I can relate, Rachelle, I have two questions for you: (1) Are you healthy? (2) Isn’t turning a year older better than the alternative? The answers to these two questions plus what the others have said about having a husband/family/friends with whom to share the occasion should be your focus. Look at the “big picture”!!!