Are you being robbed? lorenabuena / Flickr

I share five must read blog posts about saving money every Friday.

Cut food costs – Become a frugal foodie for Valentine’s Day to save money. (Mint)

Put your hands up – Five signs you’re getting robbed at the hospital and how to save on health care. (Daily Finance)

Reduce interest rates – Read about five ways to lower the interest rates of your credit card. (The Digerati Life)

Shop your pantry – Save money on food by eating on dollars a day by shopping your cabinets.  (Shoestring Mag)

Financial awkwardness – Learn how to deal with awkward situations involving money and people.  (Kiplinger)

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Cut your cell phone bill! me and the sysop / Flickr

We share five must read blog posts about saving money every Friday.

Tying the knot? Find out how marriage affects finances. (Money Girl’s Smart Moves to Grow Rich)

Going over your minutes? Donna Freedman show you how to cut your phone and Internet bills. (Surviving and Thriving)

Hoarding ketchup and picking up extra napkins at restaurants — frugal or not? The Silicon Valley Blogger writes about thievery vs. frugality. (The Digerati Life)

Higher bank fees are coming! Avoid debit card fees with these four suggestions. (Wisebread)

Group buying the latest trend? Sites that bundle buyer orders to help them secure a discount previously only available to retailers, are springing up left and right. Is this the latest saving-money trend? (The Guardian)

How many coupons can you use before being unethical? Credit: Xurble/Flickr

The Unethical Man, a reader who shared controversial tips to save money in Vegas (like taking hotel toilet paper), has a financial dilemma to share. Your thoughts?

I have one for you, and I would really like your honest opinion. I signed up for Del Taco’s Raving e-club a long time ago. From time-to-time, they send out emails containing a link to print out coupons to try something new. The coupon typically gives the bearer the new item for free with any purchase. I can and do print multiple coupons. The coupon does specify that only one coupon may be redeemed per customer per visit.

I’m sure that most people would place their typical order and throw in the free coupon as an added bonus. I’m sure that’s what the company is hoping for too. But when I go to redeem my free item,

I only purchase one regular taco which costs only $.49 everyday. The current freebie is the new Carnitas Taco Al Carbon (very good by the way). The value of which is $1.59. So my bill total with tax is a mere $.53. So far no controversy. But between work and my home are three Del Tacos located very tightly together and conveniently from the freeway. I repeat the same order at all three locations. End result? I get six items with a face value at $6.24 (before tax), but spent only $1.59 (tax included). And I still have 3 more coupons printed with the capability of printing even more before the offer expires on 09/21/11.

So do you think this is unethical, clever, frugal or just plain cheap? I’m not breaking the law, so it’s certainly not stealing. I could go a step further and say that I paid each transaction with my cash rewards card, but I used the loose change that I had in the car.

In essence, the question is how many coupons can you use before it become unethical? If you asked the folks on Extreme Couponing, the answer would be unlimited.

My take is that if the coupon does not state something to the effect of “one per customer,” then The Unethical Man is free to spend his own time and gas money driving from one Del Taco to the next, scooping up almost-free food. I suspect Del Taco receives a good amount of valuable word-of-mouth publicity from The Unethical Man and others who take advantage of its deals.

What do you think?

An example of a Groupon voucher.

A recent post on WalletPop, a site I blog for, triggered this money morality question. Are people giving Groupons and daily deal vouchers from sites like Tippr and SocialBuy as gifts this year? Daily deal sites sell vouchers at steep discounts – sometimes as much as 90% off. Is it tacky to give someone a $25 gift voucher to, say a nearby restaurant or yoga studio, if you only paid $5 for it?

If you give a Groupon or daily deal voucher, watch out for expiration dates. These vouchers are not gift cards, so they are not protected by a federal law that requires them to be good for a minimum of five years. The vouchers are usually good for about three months. It’s a good idea to highlight the expiration date in a card that accompanies the gift or on the voucher itself.

Let the recipient know about any exclusions, requirements, or hoops they need to jump through to redeem the voucher. Stay away from giving vouchers that require more than a few simple steps to redeem. While you might be willing to do a lot to get a great deal, don’t assume that everyone else is.

Make sure the daily deal voucher is for a service or store the recipient already uses or has expressed interest in. If your sister has never tried tanning, don’t think your gift will get her interested. You will come off as thoughtless and the recipient will likely toss the gift aside. Or sell it on CoupReCoup.com!

Lastly, take extra time to make the gift voucher presentable. When I’ve used Groupons in the past, the voucher is a plain 8 x 11 printout. Fine for personal use, but it feels like shoddy work when it is a gift. Tuck the gift voucher into a card with a personal note, or include it with a handmade card on beautiful paper.

If you follow these four steps, I think giving a daily deal voucher as a gift is perfectly acceptable. Would you give a Groupon as a gift?

stuartpilbrow / Flickr

This is a post by BargainBabe.com writer Yazmin Cruz.

With the economy in the hole and job losses mounting, many people could use extra cash – and may ask turn to friends and family for a loan. While some people regularly accept money from parents, others may be asking for the first time. This is a sticky situation.

“There’s the potential for personal problems and financial trouble when it comes to lending to those close to you,” states a recent USA Today story. “Experts advise you to treat the deals like the business transactions they are.”

I agree. I would have to be in a real pinch with no other possible solution in sight to ask for a loan from my family, partly because I have seen the other side. My parents have been the lenders and family ties have been broken because of money. The USA Today story advises how to avoid personal problems. My advice is simpler – don’t do it.

If you are considering loaning or borrowing money from a friend or relative, however, here are five suggestions to protect yourself and your relationship.

1. Make it your last resort – Before asking for a loan from a friend or relative, try cutting costs by saving on eating out, cutting out unnecessary utility bills, or getting a second job. If you are the lender, try to help the person by helping them find a second job or being helpful without expecting anything in return.

2. Put it in writing – As the USA Today story suggests, treat it like a business transaction and write out a contract making sure both parties understand the terms of the agreement. Include what the interest rate is and the payback terms.

3. Consult a lawyer and tax professional – Make sure to run the contract by a lawyer to make sure the terms are legally binding in your state and a tax professional to figure out the appropriate interest rate for the amount of the loan.

4. Be honest with your lifestyle – While the loan is outstanding, make sure you are not living a life of luxury as ill feelings may be stirred up in the person that loaned you the money. Life a simple life and don’t go into more debt until the outstanding loan is paid off completely.

5. Mum’s is the word – Awhile-back Bargain Babe wrote about helping out a low-income friend and spoke to an etiquette expert who said one of the no-nos of giving to a friend is telling others about your generosity. Keep it on the down low because the recipient might not want others to know.

Target gift card: to use or not to use?

I received a coupon for a $20 Target gift card yesterday with one big hitch. It is only valid if I create a Target wedding registry with at least 10 items on it. I’m not entirely sure how I got on a list of future brides (I’m not engaged) but I do sign up for a lot of stuff to test out deals for work.

Now that I have the coupon for a $20 Target gift card, I’m tempted to use it. The offer expires Oct. 24, 2010 so I don’t have long to decide. I’m leaning towards doing the right thing – recycling it or sending it to a friend who got engaged three weeks ago.

On the other hand, no where on the coupon does it say I have to be engaged. And there are plenty of registry-esque items I’d like to buy, including storage shelves for the attic and basement, sheets, and an electric griddle for pancakes. (I can never get them right in a regular frying pan.)

Is the fact that Target sent me the coupon enough to justify my use of it? Target could have vetted me (and other recipients) more carefully to weed out folks who are not actually betrothed.

How would you interpret the rules on the back of the coupon, which read:

Limit one coupon or offer per transaction. Void if copied, scanned, transferred, purchased, sold or prohibited by law. GiftCards and tax will not be included in determining purchase total. Free GiftCard not valid as payment on this purchase. Terms and conditions apply to GiftCards. Maximum retail value $20 for free GiftCard. No cash value. To redeem: take this coupon and a printout of your registry to Guest Service and any Target store. (emphasis theirs)

• 31 percent would accept money from parents only as a last resort
• 25 percent would do it if it made sense
• 19 percent regularly accept money/in-kind gifts from parents
• 16 percent would never take parental cash
• 7 percent have taken money in the past but don’t plan to again

Reader A resisted judging the situation:

Honestly, I think this is a very loaded topic and can’t easily be summarized in a quick and easy pick on an online poll. There are so many variables that factor into the decision or reality of accepting money from your parents — are you responsible with money yourself? are you parents actually not doing you a service by offering it to you? if eventually they are going to have a few million left when they die, might it be better for them to gift to you over time and now when it could be more helpful? are they giving equally to all the kids in the family? how does your spouse/partner feel about the gifts? I hope everyone realizes that it’s way more complicated a discussion than a quick click of “Are you kidding me? Absolutely not” or “Sure, if it made sense.”

Reader Bob took exception to my blog post, which also ran in the New Jersey Star-Ledger.

The fact that this title even made it into the business section sums up how bad entitlement issues to our children – of all ages – has become. Julia – How about writing an article titled “There’s no shame in moving into a more affordable neighborhood”, “There’s no shame in working a 2nd Job”, “There’ no shame in skipping a vacation”, or “There’s no shame in eating at home on Saturday nights”. 

Blakely had a different take:

My inlaws paid for a cruise for my husband and I last year. This trip included my brother-in-law and girlfriend who couldn’t have gone in my inlaws had not paid. My husband had no problem accepting it.

I do believe most of us have accepted help/large gift from our parents at one time or another in our adult life. I think the problem comes when it becomes habitual instead of an occational thing.

Reader Myke says borrowing from parents is the way to go:

When my parents were alive I did deal with “HOME SAVINGS”. When I bought my car they loaned me money. I made up a payment schedule which included interest – usually the mid-point between what the bank wanted for the car loan and what my parents could get for their money leaving it in the bank. It was a win-win situation for both of us. I repaid every cent on time.

If you can’t live on what you make you may need to scale down your lifestyle and expectations. What will you do when your parents are dead and you are stuck paying for a funeral. It will be a very rude awakening for you when you have no inheritance to supplement your spending because you used it all up while your parents were still alive.

Remember, if your parents use up their savings cushion, they may have to move in with YOU!!!

Jenni P. hopes her parents won’t have to borrow from her:

The problem with our society (and why so many readers identify with BB’s website premise of saving money where we can) is that we tend to live beyond our means. My in-laws are in that category, trying to retire but not able to afford their lifestyle if they do. Their “golden” years will be a downsizing event of huge proportions. Their daughter is angry that very little money will be left for her to inherit. I’m not: as long as we don’t end up paying for THEM, we’ll all be happy.

Offbeat Photography/Flickr

A friend of mine lives in a part of the country where expenses are so high that nearly every couple works two high-paying jobs and still struggles financially. So how do they get buy?

The answer shocked me – they accept money from their parents.

“It’s not a matter of whether you do or do not accept money from your parents,” she said. “But how much.”

My friend was talking about more than simple birthday or Christmas gifts. For her and her friends, parental cash flow affects the household’s bottom line.

Some parents send a check every month. Others give generously at holidays, provide extensive child care, or pay for entire family vacations. Still other parents pay for school tutition or establish college funds for grand kids.

It can be difficult for grown adults to accept money from parents. Many people turn it down because of pride. Others are held up by particulars. Does there needs to be a written contract? How do you ask for more, or less? Most importantly, is it possible to have “no strings attached”?

A contract is not usually necessary, but depends on what everyone involved is comfortable with. Asking for more or less comes down to explaining the request and being able to accept the answer – and additional strings. Because after the agreement is made, what lingers is the strings.

Financial gifts nearly always come with strings attached. And the bigger the gift, the more strings there are.

For instance, my Mom used to send me $100-$300 every month in college. I had a family credit card for groceries, but everything else was on me – clothes, movies, subway tokens – and the paycheck from my part-time job didn’t go far. There were few strings attached to this money, partly because it was a relatively low dollar amount. (Though it did encourage me to call home every week.)

Years later when Hubby and I prepared to buy a condo, my Mom advanced me a large portion of my inheritance so that I could contribute to the downpayment. We wrote up a simple agreement about the terms and both kept a signed copy. The rules were very clear, which made it easier on both of us. The money came with one very strong string – it was not to be used for anything else.

Some years after the condo advance, my Mom offered another fiscal carrot. If I moved back to California (I remained in New York City after graduating) she would give me her car, worth about $10,000. The money came with a very clear string – a California address – and it was one I was happy to accept.

There is nothing wrong with taking money from parents as long as two conditions exisit. The support has got to benefit both sides (don’t take money from parents who can’t afford it). And both sides must agree to and accept the strings attached.

[poll id="54"]

On both shopping trips I saw people who fell into two camps:

• those shopping there out of necessity
• those wanting to get incredible prices

The presence of other bargain hunters didn’t make me feel any better about the shirts, dress, pants, and belt I paid $1.74-$4 each for. Shouldn’t these clothes be going to someone who really needs them? As opposed to me, who was looking for an all-yellow outfit for my Frisbee tournament this weekend (above, team colors).

In the past, readers have commented that if in my gut I feel I have done something wrong, I have. But I’m not so sure this time.

My uneasiness is less about committing a wrong than feeling like I was sucking up a limited resource. I can afford to pay more for clothes, therefore I should, leaving the Salvation Army and Goodwill selection to the poor.

Case in point, after purchasing a pair of black long johns ($4) and a pair of black sweat pants (also $4) from a man who compulsively snorted, I paid $10 to ice skate for 45 minutes, $2 for a bottle of water (forgot mine in my car), and $6 for a beer at a karaoke bar at a friend’s farewell party.

What do you think? Is it unethical to shop at thrift stores intended for poor people when you can afford to pay more?

UPDATE: Readers chimed in to say, for the most part, that my guilt was nonsense.

Living Doll said:

Release your guilt Bargain Babe. You are doing something good by shopping at thrift stores because you are helping support an organization that isn’t in it entirely for profitability. Most of these stores have loads of clothing that is reasonably priced for those less fortunate to purchase. You are not taking from them.

Laura admitted to twinges of guilt:

I love shopping at the thrift stores, and now my boys, away at college, do the same. I must admit though, I do feel a bit guilty, I take off my diamond ring before I go in, and I park my Volvo down the street! I do donate to them also.

Mimi questioned my aptitude:

You cannot be serious about this question. I think you are pulling our collective leg. Do you also feel guilty buying at garage sales, swap meets and flea markets? This has got to be a joke on readers who are ethically and morally challenged. I don’t believe you are so naive to ask the question with a straight face. But I could be wrong.

Actually Mimi, I was serious!

Audrey is succinct:

I agree with most of the posters. The program is not intended to provide clothing to the poor, but rather to generate funds for the outreach programs they provide.

Her hosts paid for EVERYTHING. Breakfast at Starbucks, groceries for meals at home, gasoline for the 2.5-hour drive to see a national monument, and dinner at a restaurant on the way back. They wouldn’t let her pay for ANYTHING.

“How hard do you insist on paying?” she asked me.

“It depends on the circumstances,” I said. “How do you know these people, again?”

She described them as long time family friends.

“Are they the type of people who enjoy paying for everything?” I asked.

“Yes, but we wanted to pay for something, at least symbolically,” she said.  “But they wouldn’t let us.”

Now she’s back from vacation and having been treated at every chance she’s not sure what to do.

[poll id="43"]

If you voted to send a gift, how much would you spend?

If you compromise your integrity because of peer pressure, you’re on a slippery slope. Your blog and your readers depend on your honesty, so get back on track by admitting the error, returning the money to the owner, and being scrupulously honest in the future.

Her point is that my actions extend beyond merely misbehaving in a social setting. My actions set an unprofessional precedent for BargainBabe, which absolutely requires total honesty.

I publicly confessed that I gave into peer pressure when my friends dismissed my suggestion to let the waitress know she undercharged us by $11 for two beers. But that admission – and the flogging that followed – is not enough. I must make right the wrong.

I’m heading by the BBQ joint on Saturday and intend to hand over $15 (which accounts for tax, tip and interest!) to the waitress or the manager. How does humble pie taste? I’m going to find out.

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Ads suck? (comment of the week)