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September 29, 2009 by: Bargain Babe

Secrets of a stingy scoundrel

Secrets-of-a-stingy-scoundrel-book-coverI like to laugh, and I bet you do too. Which is why I’m digging Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel. I can tell this book is funny from the Table of Contents, which makes me like it even more.

Chapter 1. All the free t-shirts, hats, squeeze bottles and hip sacks a man could ever want. How to clothe yourself by signing up for on-the-street credit-card promotions.

Chapter 5. Don’t smoke. That’s it. Just don’t become addicted to cigarettes, you moron.

Chapter 14. Kids eat free. Let your bottomless-pit stomached rugrats punish foolish restaurants.

Chapter 18. Art of the well-timed fight/breakfup. Why you should save your big fights for just before holidays and birthdays.

Are you giggling as much as me? Okay, then. I’ll just share one more.

Chapter 19. Things you never ever have to buy. Napkins, mustard and ketchup packets, and straws – the best things in life are free.

And on till Chapter 100. Each chapter is two or three pages long, so it moves along quickly. And the paper is really nice with curved corners so it feels like a luxurious read. The illustrations by cartoonist Adam Wallenta are also pretty cool.

Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 16: Yay WNBA, that illustrates how sassy and cheap the author, Phil Villarreal, is. Phil is a contributing editor at Consumerist and a reporter for the Arizona Daily Star. His personal blog is called Because I Told You So.

As you flip through the newspaper sports section or watch SportsCenter, it’s common to wonder, “Why the hell does the WNBA exist? The answer is twofold. One is to provide a role model for young girls, teaching them that basketball isn’t as pointless as softball or soccer and could actually pay off if they work hard enough. Never mind that most players make less than your garbageman. The other reason is to provide silver-bullet dates for horny young men looking to pretend they’re evolved and sophisticated.

It’s the second purpose of existence we’ll focus on here.

While the average real NBA ticket price is about $50, the average WNBA admission is less than $15, meaning you won’t have to sell your spleen on the black market in order to afford a game, parking, and a soda.

Volunteering to go to women’s athletic events elevates you to heroic status in the eyes of your potential beloved. All their lives, athletic-minded ladies have had their endeavors belittled and marginalized by even the men they love the most, but you emerge as a white knight who appears to actually take an interest in girls’ meaningless sporting pursuits. You can boost your credibility by reading up on the teams involved so you can toss of little inside-baseball-ish tidbits as you watch the game unfold. And because the tickets cost so little, you won’t even need to wince when she orders at the concession stand.

Got you hooked? I highly recommend this book if you like to save money, have a sense of humor, or are looking for a gift for someone who is frugal.

Contest! Comment on the blog by Friday for a chance to win my dog-eared copy of Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel!!!! I hate to part with it, but I’m too stingy to buy another copy!

UPDATE: This comment from Kelsey makes an important point.

Some funny stuff. The frugality doesn’t bother me – but if I was dating a guy who faked an interest in “girl’s meaningless sporting pursuits”, I’d dump the a—hole. Is that why the author calls himself a “scoundrel”?

SECOND UPDATE: I told the “Scoundrel” author about all the readers who wanted to win his book and asked for additional copies to satisfy demand! So keep on commenting and maybe he’ll send me some more!

THIRD UPDATE: The publisher just emailed to say he is sending TWO more copies. So I have three to give to readers who comment on the blog by Friday. The most interesting and insightful comments will win!

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Comments

  1. Sol says

    September 29, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Funny+frugal = a great read to me!

    Reply
  2. naomi says

    September 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    sounds great…, I just checked on the lapl site, & they don’t have it…., so I’d love a your copy!

    Reply
  3. Jenni Porter says

    September 29, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Funny, I went to a semi-pro basketball game for the SAME reasons listed there… with 4 kids, it made sense to pay just $10 per ticket! And we got food too, so the evening wasn’t exactly economical, but I didn’t have to take out a loan like I would have with the Lakers. 😉

    Reply
  4. The Unethical Man says

    September 29, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    I’m pretty sure I am guilty of Chapter 19.

    Reply
    • bargainbabe says

      September 29, 2009 at 2:29 pm

      Ha! I just wish I regularly used all the condiments Chinese restaurants give out. But I haaaaate mustard.

      Reply
  5. Wiiliam says

    September 29, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Went to Amazon, always weird the pricing there, One used at $8.20 and up and one new at $7.95 and up. Don’t know what to pay, wait….Bargain Babe is giving her’s away, if I can write something clever….hm….Wait…..I’ll go with the pity act…I’m a frugal old man, who needs something to read in between counting pennies…..Yea…she has a soft spot…read her story about the bird on the porch.

    Reply
    • bargainbabe says

      September 29, 2009 at 2:40 pm

      Great comment, William! Bonus points for making me laugh and showing you’re a loyal reader!

      Reply
  6. Rachelle says

    September 29, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    Hilarious! I want to read more, but I’m too cheap to try to find it used on Amazon or eBay!

    Reply
  7. lisa says

    September 29, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    Very funny.
    Don’t forget soy sauce !

    Reply
  8. Ashton says

    September 29, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    this book looks like a great read and good for a laugh too! Chapter 19 has me hooked 🙂

    Reply
  9. Carolyn says

    September 29, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    I’m too cheap to buy this but would love to read it! My local library doesn’t have it either.

    Reply
  10. di says

    September 30, 2009 at 8:20 am

    make ffriends with heavy-duty readers, then ask if you can borrow thier books!
    Hey, bargain babe, can I borrow yours?

    PS one of my friends is always buying books (unlike me) 🙂

    Reply
  11. MJ Harker says

    September 30, 2009 at 9:15 am

    Sounds too funny and since I am too cheap to actually buy this…unless I had a coupon and it was on sale so that made it FREE……May have yours please?

    Reply
  12. kelsey says

    September 30, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Some funny stuff. The frugality doesn’t bother me – but if I was dating a guy who faked an interest in “girl’s meaningless sporting pursuits”, I’d dump the asshole. is that why the author calls himself a “scoundrel”?

    Reply
    • bargainbabe says

      September 30, 2009 at 11:52 am

      I think so, Kelsey. I guess you have to draw a line between comedy and sexism somewhere. I don’t take Phil too seriously because I believe he is trying to be funny. I would never be with a guy who felt women’s sports were meaningless, either.

      Reply
  13. barbara says

    September 30, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    each chapter just 2-3 pages sounds GREAT……i can read it between customers. i will gladly borrow & pass it on. and chapter 19 is cool, just dont take too much.somebody has to pay for that stuff & think of all the packaging waste!

    Reply
  14. tammy says

    September 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    I adore reads like this. Sometimes frugality is just overwhelmingly serious. We all need a laugh. And I’m a music publicist so I need it worse that all of you!
    LOL

    Reply
  15. Maggie says

    September 30, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Interesting…I’ve never looked at the whole “kids eat free” thing like that before. Possibly because I don’t have kids yet…but most of those restaurants chains or pizza joints (yes, I’m generalizing), which, in my mind, brings up another issue: is it worth saving the money at kids eat free restaurants if you are eating high-calorie & not always “nutritious” meals? Even “salads” at a lot of places like that are, in fact, very high in calories. So where do you draw the line between saving money & healthy eating?

    Otherwise, the book sounds like an entertaining read 🙂

    Reply
  16. Marie Aivazian says

    September 30, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    Reading this book will be a guilty pleasure for most of us – since most of us practice (or wish we had thought of!) some of these funny economies.
    Which one of us does not have secret stashes of mustard & ketchup packets, even restaurant napkins? We are all embarrassed that we need to practice such frugalities, so here’s a book that lets us realize we’re not alone in our comic practices!
    Bargain Babe, I really really want a copy of that book – please please please!!!

    Reply
  17. Jill says

    September 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    OK, I admit it. I am the queen of chapter 19! Ooo poet and didn’t know it! You forgot one item, Splenda packets!
    Or if you prefer, the other sweeteners, they are available as well! I’m guilty of a plastic spoon once in a while as well. It makes me feel better knowing that there are others out there like me 🙂

    Reply
  18. Kristi says

    September 30, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Would love to read it. I’m a cheap-o.

    Reply
  19. Melissa says

    September 30, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    Coming from someone who dies a little bit inside when the hubbie throws away fast-food condiment packets and napkins, this sounds like my kind of read! Really hoping to score one of these books!

    Reply
  20. Lisa says

    September 30, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    Ok…I have to say….I guess I’m a bit different….aren’t we all?! I used to take (it’s out there right waiting for me to take ’em home …right?) those little packets of mustard and sweetener but in the last few years, I come to realize like someone else said, someone has to pay for them. Now I think, I’m grateful that I CAN buy them and when I see someone taking a handful I think to myself…they must need them.

    I’m frugal but I don’t want to be cheap, nor take more than I truly need.

    Reply
  21. diana says

    September 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Well, I love all articles that have information on saving money and how to be more frugal (I really like getting your email’s daily). Yes, I do save all the little packets, need to include the taco sauce, hehehhe. I try my best to re-purpose items instead of throwing them in the garbage, I got this idea from the internet: use an old klenix box to store all your plastic bags (I just started doing this, and I love it)! Anyways, the books sounds awesome!

    Reply
  22. Adam Wallenta says

    October 1, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Thanks for the review and the link! I appreciate that.

    Reply
  23. Jennifer P says

    October 1, 2009 at 8:55 am

    I would love to win this! It sounds hilarious, and I’m sure there are lots of good tip in there too! 🙂

    Reply
  24. R Wentz says

    October 1, 2009 at 11:44 am

    Figure I’ll be 1,000 in line at paperbackswap.com for this book – hope that I win it instead! Maybe I’ll find some (even more) frugal tips in this book…..

    Reply
  25. YSQ says

    October 1, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    I would to win a copy (new or used – I’m used to reading used books anyhow) I want to see what he says about playing Yard Sale Hardball

    Reply
  26. Cindy M says

    October 2, 2009 at 8:07 am

    I am new to the world of couponing and being frugal; however, I am curious about the book that you speak of…could it be that good? Well, only one way to find out…enter for a chance to win the book!! Yea!

    Keep blogging because I love to learn your secrets and tips! and everyone elses!

    Thanks for the info!!

    Reply
  27. Chris Chun says

    October 2, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    I’d like a copy of the book.

    Reply

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About Bargain Babe

Welcome to Bargain Babe! I’m Mara, and I’m so glad you’re here. I am an obsessive bargain hunter and penny pincher, and I am determined to live a full life without EVER paying full price. Read More…

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